On "Charlotte's Web" by E.B. White

I just finished re-reading "Charlotte's Web" (fourth time now) by E. B. White and each reading reveals a remarkable depth and sophistication (although the writing is as clear as an unmuddied lake - as an azure sky sans cumuli). However, I'm not so sure this book, originally published in 1952, could be published today. We've dumbed down education (c'mon admit it) to the point so Jill and Johnny won't be too taxed (or inspired to learn more: perhaps another way one could put it). I don't mean to be cynical: but we can't be sure too much educatin' and homework won't be so stressful and harmful that the prescription drugs they take before the school day even begins won't work any longer to produce the obedient, relaxed and non- disruptive little adults the big adults need so they won't get so annoyed. But the jist of my post is best illustrated by the following excerpt from "Charlotte's Web" itself.

In the chapter entitled Loneliness, Wilbur, our porcine protagonist, prone to histrionics, doesn't seem to have a friend on the farm whose willing to have some fun and play with him. He tries several farm animals, all with their own thin excuses. Next, in an attempt to enlist one of the lambs for some play, here's the ensuing conversation:

"Will you please play with me?" he asked.

"Certainly not," said the lamb. "In the first place, I cannot get into your pen, as I am not old enough to jump over the fence. In the second place, I am not interested in pigs. Pigs mean less than nothing to me."

"What do you mean less than nothing?" replied Wilbur. "I don't think there is any such thing as less than nothing. Nothing is the absolute limit of nothingness. It's the lowest you can go. It's the end of the line. How can something be less than nothing? If there were something that was less than nothing, than nothing would not be nothing, it would be something - even though it's just a very little bit of something. But if nothing is nothing, then nothing has nothing that is less than it is."

"Oh, be quiet!" said the lamb. "Go play by yourself! I don't play with pigs."

See what I mean? I had a hard time with that myself - which required several re-readings. Of course, I'm stuffed - but I'm not making any excuses.

Charlotte's Web is a wonderful book that explores heady themes like friendship, loyalty, cooperation, fear, pain, disillusionment - even death - and finally, hope. It's a book to be read by children and adults. But the major book selling websites such as Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com recommend "Charlotte's Web" for the the 9-12 year old reading set; which, considering that the principal human protagonist, Fern, is eight years old, seems ludicrous. The overall sentence structure in the books itself suggests a primary adudience of 8-to-9 year olds with a healthy dosing of the 'under eight read-to-me's as well' crowd (the fact that adults enjoy reading this immensely entertaining book is testament to the power of the beautiful, yet simple and straightforward wording combined with those heady themes).

But the fact that so many academics deem the language and concepts beyond an eight or nine year old is the main reason I think that this fantastic - no, make that great - book would never see the newly-minted light of day in 2009 America. Thank goodness we will always have the consolation that "Charlotte's Web" has sold hundreds of millions of copies and will never be out of print. It has earned the title of 'best-selling children's paperback of all time.' Perhaps there's hope for the young ones afterall? As Charlotte herself might have said I don't tolerate ignorance in my own family and I certainly won't tolerate it in yours.

On Roman Polanski

Thirteen year old girls are just a few years ahead of sleeping with their teddies. Perhaps she still was when she was a "guest" at Jack Nicholson's house in 1977 on that infamous day when Roman Polanski ignored the child's pleas of "NO!" and had his way anyway. Justice, to deserve the name, cannot make exceptions for the rich, talented or famous. This article presents the facts but is, nonetheless, graphic and disturbing (so, please be forewarned); but it is a must read for teddy bear lovers of all ages who still believe children are children and NO! means NO!, no matter at what age you are.

Kanye, have you lost your mind?

I do feel sorry for Taylor Swift, that sweet nineteen year old millionairess whose special award moment was so rudely interrupted at MTV's VMA show last Sunday by Mr. Kanye West. Kanye, as the world now knows, grabbed the microphone from a startled Taylor and screamed that Beyoncé Knowles' video, for Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It), was the "greatest music video ever made, the greatest music video ever made." Funny thing that - I had thought the jury was already in proclaiming Michael Jackson's Thriller the greatest music video ever made. As one blogger put it: "[Kanye's] ego has swelled to be roughly the size of the International Space Station." Kanye has proudly proclaimed himself a genius - a wildly overused accolade these days. Seems Kanye is also badly in need of a music history lesson. In her video, Beyoncé performs a dancing number with two other minimally clad ladies and the video does utilize some very clever cinematography (although, to this viewer, Beyoncé's 'grinding' was a bit tasteless - some might say vulgar - and overtly suggestive in an otherwise superb dance routine). Still, she won in the category "Best Music Video of the Year." But best music video of all time? Kanye, have you lost your mind?

Also in the news: Kanye's rude behavior made him look all the more the "Jackass" that President Obama proclaimed him to be in an off-the-cuff and off-the record comment about the whole affair. Yo, Kanye, you've been called out by the President of the United States! His penance should be: get thee to a monastery to learn some humility. You've already got the haircut for it.

UPDATE: Someone actually suggested that Kanye West write and produce a music video for Taylor Swift as part of his twelve step program to rid himself of some demons and work his way back into our good graces. Both Kanye and Taylor starring in the same video would be sweet to watch. Even sweeter would be if the video won an award. Is this the way for Kanye to redeem himself? You can do it, Kanye. You're a genius!

Dumb and Dumber

Now comes the news that the producers of the Darwin biopic Creation find their film too controversial to be shown in America:

"A British film about Charles Darwin has failed to find a U.S. distributor because his theory of evolution is too controversial for American audiences."

Here's the really dumb part: apparently only 39% of Americans believe in evolution. You know, there was a time when American parents valued education above all else: they'd pray for Jane and Johnny to do well in school and maybe one day become, for example, respected scientists (you know, biologists or astronomers looking for life on other planets). Now, 61% of Americans - many who just love CSI and DNA evidence - refuse to believe what criminal experts rely on everyday to put all those nasty millions into the U.S. Penal Corpocracy. Alice herself, once extricated from her rabbit hole, would notice the contradiction: Americans love prisons and DNA evidence yet clearly do not understand that the understanding of what DNA is actually proves the case for evolution. Perhaps these good old souls would feel better just holding the Bible over a suspect's head and if it doesn't get too hot to hold, the suspect is guilty.

And here's the dumber part (which is even easier to understand): America is a country where movie DVDs are packaged inside cereal boxes and DVD players are given out when you open a checking account. American's love their movies so much that popcorn is now a $5 trillion dollar market and Orville Redenbacher shares closed last Friday at $64,583.19 each. American's will watch anything that's on a screen.

Except anything about evolution? And Americans wonders why the rest of the world is, according to the data, so much more educated than the average citizen in the United States. Two clues: facts and truth. The perks? Both of these guarantee a higher income. And after all, money is the preeminent value in American life now (proven in one short sentence: If you are poor in America, you are considered a failure). So what's wrong with this picture?

ACTION IS CHARACTER

In this case, capitalization is appropriate to the title of this post as it is a verbatim transcription of the quote from the notes of F. Scott Fitzgerald for his last novel, The Last Tycoon. As in many of his observations about American culture, Fitzgerald was spot on.

And ACTION IS CHARACTER was on full display Wednesday night during President Barack Obama's speech on healthcare to the joint houses of Congress. One representative, Joe Wilson (R-S.C.), determined it was an appropriate forum to call the President of the United States a liar while untold millions watched on television (the shocked response of Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, was priceless - as was Vice-President Joe Biden's sad head shaking at Wilson's disrespectful behavior). Poor Joe Wilson will soon learn this is NOT a way to win friends or influence anyone. In fact, one immediate lesson he learned was in the 48 hours following his outburst, his Democratic opponent in the upcoming mid-term 2010 elections, one Rob Miller, a former Marine and Iraq war veteran, raised over $350,000.

Adding insult to a self-inflicted injury, Salon.com reports: "Besides [Wilson's] show of disrespect, and the fact that he was wrong (italics mine), the legislator's comments expose a virulent racism and paranoia against undocumented workers."

I just loved President Obama's line “[i]f you misrepresent what’s in the plan, we will call you out.” Let's hope the President's words will reinvigotate the Democratic members of Congress who, in the recent past, have demonstrated a knack for bringing knives to a gunfight. The Republicans will continue to mercilessly attack this President no matter what he says. They are true contrarians - to the detriment of the health of the American people.

Finally, back to Joe Wilson - another F. Scott Fitzgerald maxim was "[t]here are no second acts in American lives." We'll see what a defeated Joe Wilson will do on the rebound. A safe prediction: he'll probably become a lobbyist.

Kennedy in Memorium

This 1957 photo of Robert, John and Teddy walking in the surf is sad and beautiful. Take a few minutes with it. To honor their legacy; ponder their tragedy. Think of what was and consider what we can still hope for.

Ponder Me This

There is hard, scientific evidence that The Big Bang happened approximately 13.6 billion years ago. Brilliant minds over the past 100 years, culminating with Einstein and the Hubble Space Telescope, have verified that the universe continues to expand. The argument over whether it will expand indefinitely, or contract into another Big Bang, has been sidelined for the moment by another remarkable discovery: the expansion of the universe is actually accelerating! Exciting stuff all.

But let's go back to beginnings (if we can call them such) and speak in terms a person (or t-bear) can understand. In the beginning there was a singularity, a point with no dimension, but with infinite mass and energy. Mind boggling conundrums (except for Professor Einstein - maybe) present themselves. For example:

Q: Where did the singularity come from?

A: Nowhere: before The Big Bang, Space itself did not exist (wrap
your head around that one - take as long as you like).

Q: What about before The Big Bang?

A: There was no 'before' - Time itself did not exist (still with me?).

So, The Big Bang created both Space and Time. These surely must be the most counterintuitive things ever intuited. But scientists are comfortable that they are asking the right set of questions as they forge ahead for answers.

Of course, the answer to the Really Big Question: Why is there Something rather than Nothing?, is, at this time, unknowable to one and all.

And so, to one and all, have a good (and reflective) day.

Meet Me In St. Louis

It's a truth universally acknowledged that if you ask any t-bear which historical person he or she would want to meet and, say, have dinner and a serious conversation with, you would receive the same answer from us all: "Teddy Roosevelt - for obvious reasons." Now a person might choose Napoleon, Julius Caesar, Abraham Lincoln, Buddha or Cleopatra - depending, of course, upon one's inclination and taste. The explanation is simple: people have a much longer history than we t-bears. John and Jane Doe could even wish to dine by caveman firelight and bite into some delicious mammoth steak prepared over blazing mesquite by a temperamental, uncomprehending chef all but ill-prepared to share his hard-fought-for meal. Or they may choose to discuss affairs of state with Cleopatra (before Julius and Marc kept her preoccupied and unfocused - a recluse with only her snakes to talk to). A conversation with Buddha could, of course, prove enlightening (sorry, I couldn't resist). Same with Abraham Lincoln, a brilliant thinker. Napoleon and Josephine would be charming dinner companions, 'til 1809 anyway. But for a t-bear, there can be only the one answer: Teddy Roosevelt is definitely our favorite human - again, for obvious reasons.

Telling Stories Saves the Species?

"The evolutionary argument for Dr. Seuss" is a review by Laura Miller (Salon.com) of Brian Boyd's new book "On the Origin of Stories: Evolution, Cognition and Fiction." The title of Boyd's book is a serious one befitting a five hundred and sixty page academic work whose jacket cover boldly states:

"Now a distinguished scholar offers the first comprehensive account of the evolutionary origins of art and storytelling. Brian Boyd explains why we tell stories, how our minds are shaped to understand them, and what difference an evolutionary understanding of human nature makes to stories we love."

Turns out, according to Boyd, people love stories because it gives humans an evolutionary advantage. What advantage could that be? you may ask. Well, scientists believe humans are the most social of all animals on Earth and it is this social cohesion that forms societies and civilization, enabling humans to efficiently propagate their species. How efficiently? Two thousand years ago world population was about 200,000 humans. Today there are over six billion humans on planet Earth, with population projections reaching nine billion by 2050. That's some advantage! So how does literature play into all this? Vicariously, it turns out. Humans enjoy stories because they identify with characters who remind them of their real life counterparts and thus foster a vital human trait: Empathy. Not being a psychologist, I'm not all that sure how Empathy and Anger are able to coexist so easily in humans; but I digress... Simply put, it is this EMPATHY that enables humans to - with apologies to Mark Twain - "get some civilizin'."

So, is President Bush a war criminal yet?

I deeply regret having to interrupt consideration of David Mitchell's "Black Swan Green" (I do hope you are, and will, enjoy my observations about this exceptional book). But the world's attention is drawn once again to the mal-administration of George W. Bush.

Betraying Geneva Conventions is no small matter. In reports today (e.g. here and here and here and here) reveal that the Bush C.I.A. unapologetically used the waterboarding torture technique many times (as one former C.I.A. operative and now CNN contributor noted, waterboarding is not simulated drowning, it is drowning to the very brink of death and anyone who has ever witnessed the technique being used would have no other word for it but torture). The great irony, of course, is that this torture technique produced no new information from avowed terrorist Abu Zubaydah after being waterboarded 83 times:

"The Times article, based on information from former intelligence officers who spoke on condition of anonymity, said Abu Zubaydah had revealed a great deal of information before harsh methods were used and after his captors stripped him of clothes, kept him in a cold cell and kept him awake at night. The article said interrogators at the secret prison in Thailand believed he had given up all the information he had, but officials at headquarters ordered them to use waterboarding.

He revealed no new information after being waterboarded, the article said, a conclusion that appears to be supported by a footnote to a 2005 Justice Department memo saying the use of the harshest methods appeared to have been “unnecessary” in his case."

The case of admitted mastermind of 9/11, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, is even more egregious. He was waterboarded a total of 183 times (Bill Maher was right: these guys are tough). The result: he gave up a single name of an Al-Qaeda 'captain.' Meanwhile, where the HELL is Osama Bin Laden and that crazed doctor he travels around with, Ayman al-Zawahiri?

Fortunately, waterboarding and secret C.I.A. prisons were among the first things prohibited by our forethoughtful President Obama through his Executive Order privileges. Good for him. Let's hope the image of the U.S. worldwide greatly improves.

Like I said, betraying the Geneva Conventions is no small matter. Many a dictator has been before the court in the Hague. If invading a sovereign country that had nothing to do with 9/11, had no Weapons of Mass Destruction or the ability to attack the United States doesn't qualify as a war crime, then something is seriously wrong here, folks.

On "Black Swan Green"

I'm re-reading David Mitchell's "Black Swan Green" - slowly this third time 'round. My dear friend (the writer who's favorite living writer happens to be Mitchell), has assured me that I will come across particularly beautiful passages about the most mundane things that happen in our narrator's (thirteen year old Jason Taylor's) life.

The chapter "Solarium" (in which Jason has serious, aesthetic conversations with the now old Madame Eva Crommelynck, the same young suicide-inducing beauty incarnate who appears as an eighteen year-old in Mitchell's magnum opus "Cloud Atlas"), deserves re-reading while re-reading!

Event: Jason is shoved off the school bus by one of his school mates/mortal enemies. Jason narrates the following sentence:

I arse flopped into this ankle-deep puddle where the gutter'd flooded.

That beautiful sentence, my writer friend assures me, didn't just happen: it was carefully crafted. In a dozen words (and seventeen syllables), David Mitchell paints such a clear action picture that it's easy to miss the six instances of alliteration (on a, r, s, l, p, and d). Only a master craftsman could construct such a seemingly simple - yet complex - sentence while making it sound so natural. Perhaps that's why it sounds so natural. Talk about showing not telling...

Gabriel García Márquez will write no more.

Sad news in The Guardian of London today. Gabriel García Márquez, author of seven novels, three novellas, three short story collections and ten non-fiction books will lay down his mighty pen and retire from writing altogether. Marquez (who turned 82 this month), is a Colombian writer in the postmodernism vein, styled with extensive use of magical realism. Gabriel García Márquez is perhaps best known for his critically acclaimed One Hundred Years of Solitude, published in 1967. Márquez was awarded the Nobel prize for literature in 1982. At least The Laureate can comfort himself with the company he keeps, whether awake or in his fantastic dreamings: Ernest Hemingway, Jean-Paul Sartre, John Steinbeck, William Faulkner, Octavio Paz, Albert Camus, T.S. Eliot, Pearl Buck, Eugene O'Neill, Sinclair Lewis and Thomas Mann - exalted company, indeed - to name a few of the Nobel Laureates for Literature of the 20th century.

Bailout or Overhaul for Automakers?

So much debate in the past few days about President Obama's proposal for General Motors and Chrysler (we assume Ford is okay, for the moment). The U.S. Government has lent billions of dollars already to both GM and Chrysler, who face certain bankruptcy if they cannot internally restructure (GM) or merge (Chrysler and Fiat). There is, however, a third option that is an incredible opportunity far too good to miss: a U.S. short term takeover (i.e. intense oversight) of these two auto giants. Imagine, if you will, that GM and Chrysler started making only electric cars. Thinks about it for at least a few moments. Think about the ramifications of an industry that was totally re-tooled for the future. Cars and trucks and their batteries manufactured in the United States. We can revitalize a vital industry.

The majority of Americans alive now were not around when the auto giants re-tooled for the Second World War effort. They stopped making cars completely and churned out tanks, jeeps, and a sundry list of other military vehicles. Without those efforts, the war would have certainly been prolonged. And had we not had those auto giants to turn to, we may have lost the war in Europe altogether (or won it only by using more atomic bombs).

So, now's the time not to quibble. We're in a global economic war of our own making that has seen millions of manufacturing jobs leave the United States. Now's the time for bold action to solve these problems both short term and long term. The future will be here before you know it.

Victory Gardens across America?

The New York Times had an article about The First Lady's planned organic vegetable garden on a patch of White House lawn not far from Malia and Sasha's swingset. No beets, however. The President of the United States doesn't like beets (neither do I). From the article:

While the organic garden will provide food for the first family’s meals and formal dinners, its most important role, Mrs. Obama said, will be to educate children about healthful, locally grown fruit and vegetables at a time when obesity and diabetes have become a national concern.

“My hope,” the first lady said in an interview in her East Wing office, “is that through children, they will begin to educate their families and that will, in turn, begin to educate our communities.”

Twenty-three fifth graders from Bancroft Elementary School in Washington will help her dig up the soil for the 1,100-square-foot plot, in a spot visible to passers-by on E Street.

Sweet.

Michele Obama is awesome. Her breezy, unselfconscious demeanor wins people over immediately. She's a natural. She's bright, buff and beautiful and unbending in her advocacy on behalf of children. That combination makes her a winning role model for millions of American kids. I hope her seemingly boundless energy will be part of our national insurance policy that is the Obama administration and will not ebb, but shall only rise higher as we bring ourselves out of our "big troubles.' I know that's a lot to ask of a First Lady; but she'll be the first to say that's what she signed up for, too.

Oh, and Maureen Down (our favorite outspoken female reporter and columnist) had a great take on all this in yesterday's column. Her deftness is actually breathless to behold as she compares Michelle's efforts to the creeps on Wall Street who ripped us off and continue to spend taxpayer bailout money on ridiculous perks (as well as foreign banks). It's a must read, too. Mighty is the pen.

A Book Deal for The Worst President Ever?

So, after the AIG bonus mess has captured the nation's fascination (and short-term attention span), and after citizenry fatigue has set in for real from what can only be described as Those Wall Street Shenanigans (sounds like a Broadway play about to open), we now hear of a $7M book deal for George W. Bush. Hope springs eternal, of course, but I doubt his publishers will title the tome "The Life of the Worst President of the United States."

We shall not belabor; now we will sweep. But we shall remember lest we forget.

Anyone who doubts that the Presidency of George W. Bush wasn't the absolute worst American Presidency is either unknowledgeable about U.S. history since April 20, 1789 (when George Washington was sworn into office) or is an unrepentant Republican. Ignorance of the Constitution is no excuse. And I can't help thinking that when those who self-identified themselves as churchgoers (and who supported Bush - twice!) prayed for protection from evil, their subconscious (a wonderfully honest, if mysterious and frightening corrective mechanism) wasn't substituting GWB + Cheney & Co. for Beelzebub.

Beelzebub, meanwhile, was dutifully recording the sins: torture; suspension of the Geneva Convention (as well as a violation of a host of other basic human rights); duplicity (i.e. lying and more lying to the American people and the rest of the world); traitorous actions and calumny (see Valerie Plame); political sabotage (swiftboating has actually become a new verb); NSA warrantless surveillance of American citizens; a draconian suppression of science; criminally negligent responses to Americans in need (see Hurricane Katrina, our brave, injured soldiers returning home from war , and naturally, the tens of millions of Americans who don't have health insurance); ah, Ebenezer, the list is a long one. A very long one that only history will clarify.

So, while we sweep, let the clarification begin in earnest.

The First Lady and Inspiration

In the title of her New York Times op-ed column last Saturday, Maureen Dowd asked "Should Michelle Cover Up?" She was referring to, well, Michelle Obama's biceps and the shallow, ridiculous criticisms she has received from some prominent Republicans for, of all things, showing a little skin. Seems Republicans never learn the really important lessons. Their so-called "Conservative" agenda of the past was revealed to be but a cheap and cynical political ploy, a plot to dupe aproximately half the population of the United States into believing they were the party of virtue. Bill Bennet, indeed! (Mark Twain's "[t]here is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress." comes immediately to mind). But Republicans particularly haven't yet learned that a major ground shift really occurred last November and it's finally a brand new day in America. "These are serious times and we need serious..." But, no, we shall not belabor; now we shall sweep. And leave the shallow-dwellers (whose political relevancy is deep under water) for Ms. Dowd to skewer with her mighty pen.

Here's Maureen Dowd:

"Michelle Obama, like her husband, is hugely popular with American voters, an inspiring woman who's likely to make a profound impact on America's self-conception. Volunteering, visiting schools, traveling to government agencies to help remoralize employees, raising her adorable daughters; she's an incredible asset to Obama at a perilous time."

"During the campaign, there was talk in the Obama ranks that Michelle should stop wearing sleeveless dresses, because her muscles, combined with her potent personality, made her daunting. She ignored that talk, thank heavens. I love the designer-to-J. Crew glamour. Combined with her workaday visits to soup kitchens, inner-city schools and meetings with military families, Michelle’s flair is our depression’s answer to Ginger Rogers gliding around in feathers and lamé."

"As blue chips turn into penny stocks, Wall Street seems less like a symbol of America’s macho capitalism and more like that famous Jane Austen character Mrs. Bennet, a flibbertigibbet always anxious about getting richer and her “poor nerves.” The president tried to urge Americans to man-up and buy stocks. In a Times interview on Friday, he further advised us not to “suddenly stuff money” in our mattresses."

"Let’s face it: The only bracing symbol of American strength right now is the image of Michelle Obama’s sculpted biceps. Her husband urges bold action, but it is Michelle who looks as though she could easily wind up and punch out Rush Limbaugh, Bernie Madoff and all the corporate creeps who ripped off America. Her arms, and her complete confidence in her skin, are a reminder that Americans can do anything if they put their minds to it...Michelle has soared every day, expanding the job to show us what can be accomplished by a generous spirit, a confident nature and a well-disciplined body."

Inspiration.

We have to start with facts on the ground: perfection, unfortunately, does not exist. But I would say that now, amidst our uncertainty and hardship - and a very new president determined to sweep things very clean - we have a perfect opportunity to correct the ills of the past eight years - very serious ills. True story: A Brit friend told me recently, "Only in America can one endure paying 50% of one's income in all the varied taxes, yet somehow still allow Republicans to convince taxpayers they don't deserve healthcare. Imagine that! And from a government these taxpayers, theoretically, run." Ouch!

Yet, while we sweep we shall not belabor. Not now, with Inspiration in the wings. Inspiration is not a slightful thing: it has moved nations, and will again. Not too long ago, the U.S. mobilized the scientific community in a massive effort that landed men on the moon. Our takeaway shall not just be our satellite subscription options. Not this time. This time real, enduring changes will come. Just when we most need them. Perhaps the United States of America will lead the world again.

Inspiration. J.I.T.